


floating (like balloons)

by OHfairytales



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, But there is always a place to pour her heart, F/M, Islam, Shes so heartbroken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 05:39:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10780686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OHfairytales/pseuds/OHfairytales
Summary: Yousef's eyes found her immediately when she passed the living room. He was caught staring at her, his fingers pushing away his dark hair from his eyes. He smiled hesitantly at her and her heart broke one more time. He was so beautiful.Or – Sana tries to reflect and find back her inner peace after Yousef’s devastating text message.





	floating (like balloons)

**Author's Note:**

> It's the first time I publicly post a work of fanfiction, exciting!  
> I'd like to thank AC, AM, MVV and PMG for believing in my writing before I did. This story is set right after SE04E03 and right before SE04E04. 
> 
> Quotes from the Qu'ran are used in this fic, so please be respectful, thank you in advance :) 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. See the endnotes for the meaning of certain words used in this fic.
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think!!

 

 

 

>  
> 
> **_But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. (Qu’ran 2:216)_ **
> 
>  

XXX

  
Locking the phone, she was left in the dark. Sana rested back her head on the door and exhaled the breath she had been holding for who knows how long. Closing her eyes, she tried to calm down. It didn't help. She furiously threw her phone on her bed.  

_Jeg er ikke muslim. I'm not Muslim._

Sana didn't know what to do. The only thing she needed was reassurance, she hated crying. Sana Bakkoush didn't cry over small things, and especially not over a boy, thank you very much.  She sighed once more when she realized that she couldn’t tell her mom. Perhaps she could tell Noora, she trusted her. Her mind wandered to Even. He would definitely understand. She felt herself become calmer when she remembered one of the verses she had sent him many times.

 

 

 

> **_Surely, with every difficulty comes ease. (Qu’ran 94:5)_ **
> 
>  

She was a tough girl. So, she would fix this too.

Notifications of new messages on her phone caused her heart to almost drop to her guts. Sana wasn't ready to read any other texts tonight. Nearly seconds after, the Azaan started calling her to pray _‘Ishaa_. Already having missed _Maghrib_ , she had to pray the last one of the evening. She had to.

Before turning around to grab the doorknob to make her wudu in the bathroom, she paced over to the mirror in her room. This wasn’t the Sana she wanted to be. Walking back, she opened the door a little. Sana waited a beat too long to hear the voices coming from the living room. The boys hadn't left the house yet. She contemplated waiting until they were gone. However, she just wanted to pray and sleep this away as soon as possible. Sana guessed that she could sneak out of the room and go to the bathroom without anyone seeing her.

She was wrong.

Yousef's eyes found her immediately when she passed the living room. He was caught staring at her, his fingers pushing away his dark hair from his eyes. He smiled hesitantly at her and her heart broke one more time. He was so beautiful.

_Lower your gaze._

She looked away and rushed to the bathroom. Wiping away her make-up, she observed herself. Suddenly, a knock on the door startled her. “Sana _,_ _baba_ and I are going to the night pharmacy to get some pills against his stomachache.”

Sana could definitely use some of those as well.

“Alright, I’m just making wudu, and after praying I’ll be off to sleep.”  
  
“Okay, sleep well then. Love you.”  
  
“ _Takk_.  Love you too.”  

Not wanting to be disturbed by anyone else (read: Yousef), she started her wudu in a well-known routine. Sana’s Arabic begun to flow when she took every obligatory step in a practiced swiftness. Fixing her hijab and glancing once again in the mirror, she was ready to go back to her room.

After positioning her prayer rug in the right direction, it was time to clear her head.  She started to recite but something felt off. The words were suddenly awkward in her mouth, as if they took up too much space. Her tongue thick and her mind felt clouded. She tried once again from the beginning, concentrating on the reassuring Arabic that spilled from her mouth. She was halfway when a bass drop shook up the whole house. _Not again._ As quickly as the music started, it suddenly stopped. _Ping!_  Another message. Sana groaned.

She hurried to finish the prayer, changed her clothes into pajamas and took off her hijab. She had decided she was done for the day. Sana climbed into bed and fell into a tumultuous sleep.

XXX

Sana woke up feeling very distraught. It was still dark outside. Looking up at the ceiling, it felt as if the shadows of the branches of the three near her window mocked her. She shut her eyes again.  With her eyes still closed, she reached out to her phone. Was it time for _Fajr_ yet? She opened one eye slowly, the light from her phone illuminating her face. 4:30. She apparently slept through the morning Azaan. Shit. Other than that, her lockscreen was crowded with messages, mostly with ones from _him_ but also texts from Noora and one from Elias.

Elias: _The boys stayed over, put on your hijab when you come out of your room._

Sana rolled her eyes. Didn't these guys have their own home? She didn't want to leave her warm bed and face the cold world today. Sana took a deep breath and opened her chat with Yousef. There was no use of ignoring him any longer.  The time of the texts he had sent her varied from ten in the evening until three in the morning.

Yousef: _So..._

Yousef: _I wanted to tell you earlier._

Yousef: _Are you mad at me?_

Yousef: _Sorry about the music I made the boys turn it off immediately._

Yousef: _Can you please answer me?_

Yousef: _I can't sleep._

"I want to explain myself," the latest text said. She exhaled. It hurt still. But that didn't mean it would be stronger than her faith because this too, would pass. She put away her phone and buried her face in her pillows. It was time to get up.

Sana tried to tiptoe to the bathroom. Nonetheless, her curiosity won from her rationality and she glanced towards the living room. She was met with bloodshot eyes. She bit her lip and realised that she probably didn't look much better. She couldn't move. Sana gave Yousef a nod,  small dimples popping up on her cheeks. Mikael who was sleeping on the other couch, shifted his weight and his mouth fell open. A loud snore filled the silence between Sana and Yousef. They both looked his way, alarmed. She was brought back to earth and hastily continued her way to make wudu, breaking off the eye contact. 

   

> **_Allah doesn't burden a soul beyond it can bear (Qu'ran 2:286)_ **
> 
>  

After finishing _Fajr_ and putting back her _tasbeeh_ on the drawer next to her bed, her mind was clearer than last night. Sana unlocked her phone and clicked on his name. Dawn had set and the sky turned from purple to pink.  She began to type…

Sana: _Okay, we can talk. I judge no one. Jeg dømmer ingen_.

 

She pressed send and was reminded of the Arabic proverb her mother used to tell her all the time:

   

> **_"What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is between two mountains. And what isn't meant for you, won't reach you even if it's between your two lips."_ **
> 
>  

Even if Yousef wasn't a blessing, he sure was a lesson.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it!
> 
> Azaan: call to prayer  
> ‘Ishaa: the fifth prayer of the day  
> Maghrib: the fourth prayer of the day, evening prayer  
> Wudu: Ritual washing before praying  
> Fajr: morning prayer, first prayer of the day  
> Tasbeeh: prayer beads
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://huggedme.tumblr.com)!


End file.
